Optical Illusions

I guess I have purposely surrounded this blog site with ads so someone reading this could lose site of the actual messages I am trying to convey. I am now thinking about deleting some of my old blogs so no one could trail me.  This site has been a hodge podge, I also maintain another blog in wordpress specifically about my daily challenges in working for the the career path I chose, but personal matters such as these ones could not be posted in a technical/academic blog since it is far too personal.

At the moment there is a feeling of danger and opportunity. I am very suspicious of another person's intention about me, it is quite difficult because I have trusted this person, but  I just woke up one morning and realized I had been "used" and that person is such a manipulative and egotistical asshole, but to a certain degree I am still giving this person the benefit of the doubt because I need something from this person for my professional growth.

Yes it is a point of danger and opportunity. I am the kind of person who seek mentorship, guidance and inspiration but there is always a risk that my perceived mentor could be such an asshole who have insecurity and bloated ego problems. I am not the kind of person who would just give up, I need something to grow and move forward, but of course I do not want to thread into the waters of abuse.

This is a strategic challenge, this requires further reading into the Art of War by Sun Tzu, keep your friends close and your enemies closer, maybe that's what I am to this person, I have always been an enemy and this person have perceived a certain degree of naivete on my part early in the relationship and have made manipulations on that premise. 

Statistical significance

I am 100% sure that if I dive into marriage anytime soon it will be a failure.  The marriage may last forever but I will surely be miserable as hell.  People may hate me but I know my self pretty well to know what will make me happy. I know very well what will make me happy.

100% surety is of significance. If the weather bureau tells you that there will be an 80% chance of rain, it will surely rain, what more if its 100% sure.  If I am 100% sure that something will make me miserable, it will indeed make me miserable.

I am not the kind of person who finds happiness in material things or conventional beliefs, for once in my life I have contemplated on living a contemplative life, but chastity has stopped me.

What if as the years have passed, I grew, I have spread my wings but in a totally different direction. If everyone flies north, I have decided to fly south but that doesn't give anyone any reason to clip my wings and put me in one place, that is the worst anyone can do to someone like me and that will bring me misery.

If anyone could not understand, maybe we should surrender to the wisdom of a Higher Power and a clear mind increases our perception and awareness, which increases our significance. 

All Saints

Its All Saints Day and took the time to spend most of the time to finish some left over work that needs to be completed before new works comes for November. Time is flying towards my mid thirties, with bills to pay and people to support given their growing needs, visiting my mother's grave seems to be the least of my priorities today. With such an outlook for today, eyebrows are being raised. They seem to have this preconceived norm that the only daughter should take care of everyone's needs especially when they are visiting. 

Wanting a jacket...

Came across this jacket at the Mall of Asia and it fits me perfectly at medium and I look damn great in it. But looking at the price tag, it is way damn beyond my budget for any jacket.  Mango is already considered an affordable brand, the cut and the lines really made me look so so so slim and so elegant for power dressing but it breaks the bank...hope to get it soon by January when the end of season sale begins!